No Guaranties
by Junebugsm
Summary: Callie pulls away when Stef announces she has cancer and Stef and Lena must help Callie and Jude understand why.


**Callie pulls away when Stef announces she has cancer and Stef and Lena must help Callie and Jude understand why.**

(Based on the assumption that Stef get's breast cancer in 3B. This is just a one-shot and not a cancer story.)

* * *

"Well you don't have a choice." Stef said firmly as she set a plate of eggs and bacon down in front of her oldest daughter.

"Whatever." Callie mumbled as she got up and walked out of the room, leaving the plate untouched.

"That girl..." Stef groaned, pulling the plate for herself instead, giving Callie a bit of time to calm down.

Lena smiled at Stef sympathetically as she leaned over and kissed the side of her head. This had been going on for over a week now. Callie was pulling away, trying to protect herself and that involved butting heads with Stef - and today's issue was that Callie missed curfew the night before, coming home almost an hour late.

It had been two weeks since Stef had announced that she had cancer and since then all the kids had been reacting in their own way though Callie was the only one who seemed to believe that retracting was the answer. Jesus had become protective, Jude was overly helpful, Mariana was a little clingy and Brandon was the most lost - his life had never included something so drastic before. Callie though had formed a solid shell around herself and was determined to stay in it and not let anyone in. She couldn't survive losing another mother and she knew it and so the best thing was to push Stef away herself before she was taken from them.

Stef was learning to cope. So far she'd only had a myriad of test and was due to begin chemo in just under a weak. She was scared and so was Lena but between the two of them they were trying to keep it together for the kids. Focusing on them definitely helped Stef from constantly worrying about herself but on the other hand she worried about Lena handling it all by herself once she was no longer able to. She knew there was nothing she could really do to to calm her children but that didn't stop her from constantly trying.

Callie's attempt to push Stef away largely included disobeying rules and trying to get Stef angry, who, surprisingly enough, was keeping her cool most of the time. So far Callie had skipped class, ignored assignments, swore, yelled, skipped meals, not-so-descretly sneaked cups of coffee and the latest was staying out past curfew.

"Hang in there honey." Lena said encouragingly. She was worried about Callie and Stef. Callie needed the reassurance that she was loved but Lena wondered how she'd manage once Stef was in hospital. And Stef needed time to relax and prepare for the battle that lay ahead and she knew that her wife would constantly worry about the rest of them, as she should, but still she wondered how Stef would get though. But for now she let them be because they both seemed to need this constant attention, even if it was the negative kind.

"Could you whip up a couple of pancakes? I'll go get her in a minute." Stef requested. Callie's favorite food had become pancakes - she associated it with the mindless, love-filled breakfasts she'd first encountered in their home and had since requested it often.

"I can do that." Lena said, clearing Stef's plate as well as her own and as she did so she whispered. "Take it easy okay."

Stef nodded gratefully as she glanced around her other children all eating and talking amongst themselves. They had long since tuned out Callie's outbursts and flair-ups and knew that the moms' would take care of it.

* * *

A few minutes after the other kids cleared away for their Saturday plans Stef headed up to get Callie. She knew she'd find the girl buried under her comforter with a book and a picture of her mom for a bookmark.

"Hey love, breakfast time." Stef said casually as she entered the room and sat down on Callie's bed, patting her back though the thick comforter.

"Not hungry." Callie said, not taking her head out from under her hiding place.

"Not an excuse." Stef responded. "Mama made you some pancakes." She gently pulled the comforter away from her daughter. "Come on, just a couple and then you can finish your book."

Both of them knew that the book was the last thing Callie was really interested in but for now it was easier to pretend than risk Callie skipping yet another meal.

Callie groaned in frustration but did as she was told, mumbling a series of curse words and accusations as she went.

Stef remained seated on the bed for a few more minutes, hanging her head in defeat - she couldn't believe that she'd brought another burden for her family to bare. She hated what this was doing to all of them, especially Callie who just never seemed to catch a break.

Finally Stef headed back downstairs and found Callie scarfing down two pancakes dry in an attempt to get away as soon as possible.

* * *

"CALLIE ADAMS FOSTER WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" Stef yelled as she walked onto the back patio and found her daughter lying on a couch with her book and a can of beer.

Lena and Jude, who were in the kitchen cleaning up after dinner, came out to see what had happened.

"Reading." Callie answered nonchalantly, knowing full well that that wasn't what Stef was referring to.

"That's enough Callie, I know you're mad and I know you're scared but you have definitely crossed a line." Stef said, referring to the alcohol in her daughter's hand.

"You don't like my book?" Callie asked in fake surprise, rallying Stef up further.

"You have exactly ten seconds to get your butt back into the house and drain that can down the sink." Stef ordered.

"Oh this?" Callie pretended to be suddenly enlightened. "I actually like it, I think I'll finish it instead." She said equally flippantly.

"You're hitting my last nerve Callie." Stef warned. She understood that Callie was afraid and reacting the only way she knew how but this wasn't something she was going to take lightly - she'd seen first hand what alcohol did to people and she defiantly wasn't going to let her daughter go down that path.

"WELL WHAT DIFFERENCE IS IT TO YOU, HUH?" Callie yelled angrily as she jumped up, dropping her book and spilling the rest of her beer in the process. "IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE GOING TO BE HERE TO CARE ANYWAY."

With that she stomped past everyone and back into the house ignoring the gasp of shock from Lena and the defeated look on Stef.

* * *

Lena began to walk towards her wife who clearly felt guilty for this whole mess but Jude spoke up.

"Why does she do that?" He asked in confusion. He'd watched his sister try time and time again to anger Stef unlike everyone else who were trying their hardest to help her and support and encourage her.

"She's just angry sweetheart." Lena answered gently. "She's reacting."

"But why is she being so mean." Jude asked again, practically in tears. "We're all trying to be extra nice to mom and she's being such a b..." He began, catching himself just in time.

Lena smiled. He was the only one of all her kids who consciously tried not to curse. Any of the other's wouldn't have batted an eye if they needed to swear. But Jude was right - the rest of the kids were trying hard to support Stef, though no one said it in so many words. But it was obvious and it was sweet and it definitely helped them all. The twins rarely fought, Brandon's music was always on low and Jude did a number off chores around the house without even being asked and often unnoticed. Callie was the only one who seemed to be pushing Stef to the limit and it was absolutely clear why which was the main reason that neither mom got too upset with her. This girl had suffered far more than any of the other kids and the cancer seemed to be the final straw.

"She's just trying to protect herself." Lena answered her son. "She's trying to keep mom at a distance just incase..." She trailed off, hating even the thought of what might happen to her wife.

"But you're not gonna die are you?" Jude asked worriedly, understanding Lena's unspoken words.

"I can't promise that baby." Stef answered honestly. "But I can promise that I am going to fight with everything I have. I won't give up because I want nothing more than to be here and watch you and your brothers and sisters grow up."

"Fight hard okay mom." Jude said, practically begging.

"I will bud." Stef said, tears filling her eyes at the thought that she may really not get the chance to see them all grown up."

"I love you." Jude said, also realizing the same thing.

"I love you too baby." Stef said, hugging him tight as a few tears spilled over. "So, so much."

* * *

"Hey baby." Stef said when she saw Callie standing in their bedroom doorway as the two of them lay together reading quietly.

Stef and Lena had given Callie some space to cool down and knew the girl would come to them when she was ready. She had come a long way since she'd first come to live with them and even though she was retreating back into her shell she'd already learned to depend on them too much and now she couldn't do without them no matter how hard she tried.

Callie just stood there with a look of anger and fear but the need for them was also clear.

"Come snuggle with me." Stef said, sitting up straighter.

Callie cautiously walked over to the bed and got in. She'd done it before, many times now but today felt like the first time all over again.

Stef pulled Callie close and held her, needing it just as much as the teen. "You okay?" She asked, hoping that Callie had calmed down sufficiently enough to talk.

Callie nodded once before taking a deep, shuddering breath. All the defiance, all the emotions and all the worry were taking a tole on her as well and she was exhausted and just needed a while to be normal again.

"Scared?" Stef asked, watching her daughter carefully.

Once again Callie gave a single nod, her gaze still focused on the comforter.

"Me too." Stef said honestly causing Callie to look up at her with wide eyes.

Callie knew Stef was afraid. She knew anyone, no matter how strong, would be afraid in this situation but what she never, ever expected was for Stef to admit it.

"I am." Stef explained. "I'm scared of the surgery, of possibly having chemo, of being so sick that I can't do anything by myself, of finding out it's spreading, of finding out I can't be cured." She paused a moment before adding the last one. "Of dying." She said, watching Callie closely.

Callie's eyes filled with pain and Stef knew she'd hit the nail on the head. "I'll never forgive you." She said in a small voice, trying to hold the tears in. "If you die I'll never forgive you."

Stef could feel Lena tense beside her but she didn't want Callie to get too afraid to talk. She quietly slipped one hand into Lena's and squeezed tight. This wasn't easy for her wife either, to watch her go though all this and have to handle their kids on their own when she herself needed someone to support her.

"I'm going to fight, Callie." Stef said in much the same way she'd told Jude earlier. "I'm going to fight with everything I have."

"But it may not be enough." Callie pointed out. Unlike Jude, she wasn't willing to just hope for the best.

"No." Stef agreed sadly. "It may not be enough."

They sat in silence for a few moments, both thinking about the worst outcome before Stef continued.

"But even then, it will never change the way I feel about you." Stef said, needing Callie to know that she was loved and wanted through all of this. Stef and Callie had grown very close, very quickly and their similarities brought them closer still. Stef knew that this was exceptionally hard for Callie, having already lost one mom but she needed the girl to know that neither Colleen nor she herself would _choose_ to leave her and if, god forbid, Stef did die then she had Lena and grandparents and siblings still around. She also had the Quinn's and while they may not be her first choice, they were still her family and she had them in her corner.

"That's the problem." Callie spat, her mood changing instantly. "You loved me and you made me love you back and now you're dying and I'm right back where I started." Callie ranted in anger. "You couldn't just ignore me like the others; no, you had to interfere and make all these promises that you're breaking now." She was practically hysterical now and while Stef did hold on to her she just let her get it all out. "Why couldn't you just hit me or something? It would have hurt far less than _this_." She spat, finally admitting her pain for the first time. "I could handle all that." She admitted softly.

Stef waited a moment, just in case Callie had more to say but when the teen didn't continue she answered.

"I'm sorry this is happening Callie." She said sincerely. "I wish I could have given you the carefree life you deserve. I wish I could just make it all magically go away, but I can't." She said, the ache at not being able to do just that clear in her voice. "I was so sure that once you were adopted all your worries would go away."

Lena listened and she knew that Stef was feeling guilty. She hated causing problems for her family. She was usually the one to solve everything for everyone and now being the cause was practically killing her.

"But I do love you." Stef continued, refusing to let go of Callie though the teen occasionally tried to shrug her off. "And that will never change. You are my baby girl and even if, _if_." She made it clear. "I die, I will still love you."

Callie remained silent, almost trying to ignore Stef in order to protect herself.

"I didn't choose this Callie." Stef said, almost begging the girl to understand. "I never asked for it. I want nothing more than to be fine and just continue our lives as a family."

At this Callie finally looked up at Stef, her gaze softening, realizing that this was hard for Stef too.

"I know." She said softly. "It just sucks." She mumbled.

"It does." Stef agreed. "But I'm gonna fight." She reminded the teen. "And I need you there to help me." Callie, just like Stef always wanted to be there for everyone else and Stef was going to use that to help get them both through. "I need you to stick around and remind me all the time why I have to fight."

Callie stared intently at Stef, wondering if she really believed that Stef needed her that much.

"You're stubborn kid." Stef said flatly. "Mama can't handle you all by herself." She teased gently, making Callie smile.

"That's my girl." Stef nudged Callie gently before pulling her into another hug and then reaching for Lena as well. "It's going to be okay." She said to both of them. "You're going to be okay."

* * *

It didn't go unnoticed by Lena that Stef had excluded herself in that last statement and she wondered if Stef just had a feeling that things weren't going to end well for herself. It sent shivers down her spine and as she lay in bed watching Stef sleep beside her she needed the security, the closeness, the same promise that Stef had made to Callie and Jude just that day and to the other kids over the last few weeks.

Lena leaned in and wrapped her arms around Stef, waking her in the process.

"What's wrong love." Stef asked groggily, turning around in Lena's arms, wrapping her own around the younger woman as well.

"What are your chances?" Lena asked, sounding more like a child in that moment.

"What do you mean?" Stef asked in confusion, sitting up slightly so she could see Lena.

"Do you honestly think you have a chance at surviving this?" Lena cleared up.

Stef sighed, she had no idea. She definitely hoped she'd be absolutely fine and live to see her children have children of their own but she knew there were no guaranties.

"I don't know." She answered honestly. "I can't tell."

"I just hate that you couldn't promise them that you'd be okay." Lena admitted. Stef rarely broke a promise and when she did it wasn't ever a big one and she needed Stef to make this promise.

"I can't do that." Stef said sadly.

"I know." Lena answered, understanding Stef's point of view.

"They've been though so much." Stef explained though she knew Lena already knew it too. "They all took so long to really trust us and I don't want to break that if I can't..." She trailed off.

"No, you can't." Lena agreed in resignation.

"I want things to be as easy for you as possible." Stef admitted. She didn't want Lena to have the extra burden of gaining their trust all over again should something happen to Stef.

"It's never going to be easy." Lena said sincerely to Stef. "They need their mom and I need my wife."

"I need you too." Stef said, more vulnerably than Lena had ever seen her. "I need you all."

"We're here." Lena said. The desperate look in Stef's eyes made her the strong one once again. "And we'll figure it out." She assured. She didn't want Stef to feel even worse than she already did. Like she had said earlier - this wasn't her fault; she hadn't chosen this."

"I know." Stef said, knowing that besides being supportive they couldn't help her and she couldn't help them.

Both women knew that they just had to wait it out and see what happened and take each day as it came but for right now they still had each other and they were going to make the most of it. Stef lay down once again and Lena curled into her wife's arms, relishing the warmth and security they brought her. She wondered how much longer she'd have this chance and hoped like hell it would be for many more years to come - but like Stef had said, there were no guaranties."

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

I know that someone else also posted a similar story a few hours ago but I already had most of this written and so I'm posting it as well. I really loved the idea of Callie telling Stef that she wouldn't forgive her for dying and Lena feeling a little upset about it.

Anyways I hope you enjoyed it. I'm continuing my two ongoing stories and am working on a few others as well. Update are a little erratic because some days I just crash when I have some free time.

On the other hand my little Buggling is doing wonderfully and makes everything so worthwhile. There's no one else in the world I'd wake up at 4am for. She's my heart.

Thanks for reading.

Love

Junebug.


End file.
